WASHINGTON – No one would confuse Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton for happy warriors.
The rivals showed up Thursday night at a fabled staging post on the final stretch of presidential campaigns — the Al Smith charity dinner in New York.
Smith, the former New York governor and 1928 Democratic presidential nominee, was once dubbed the “happy warrior of the political battlefield” by Franklin Roosevelt.
Trump and Clinton looked anything but happy when they limped off the 2016 campaign trail Thursday night.
They struggled to disguise the anger, bitterness and sheer open dislike that has pulsed through their recriminatory White House race, perhaps not surprisingly since he has threatened to throw her in jail and she says he’s a threat to the republic.
An evening known for sharp humor that often goes right up to the line but rarely crosses it quickly degenerated into an uncomfortable experience. They just imported the acrimony of Wednesday night’s debate to a new venue.
In short, the evening became an apt metaphor for the campaign.
Neither candidate seemed at ease or performed particularly well — after all, they are the most unpopular presidential hopefuls in recorded history.
In the end, Trump seemed to come across as the more unacceptable — and appeared to misjudge the tone of the evening worse than Clinton.
Everyone in attendance seemed to just want it to be over, much as the nation seems desperate to rid itself of the ugliest presidential race in decades.
Thursday’s dinner was notable because it lacked the genuine respect and even warmth that President Barack Obama and Republican nominee Mitt Romney showed when paying tribute to one another’s families at the same event four years ago — after throwing their jabs.
Political humor works best when there is at least some respect between the parties and everyone is in on the joke. It’s especially important for the person doing the roasting to also turn the humor on themselves, otherwise the barbs can come across as too harsh.
Obama and President George W. Bush proved themselves to be particularly adept at this.
Trump clearly didn’t get the memo. Some of his jokes did hit the spot but many just seemed a little too cutting for the venue.
“We’ve learned so much from WikiLeaks. For example, Hillary believes that it is vital to deceive the people by having one public policy and a totally different policy in private,” Trump said, drawing boos — which are unheard of at this annual event.
Trump said, “That’s OK, I don’t know who they’re angry at, Hillary, you or I. For example, here she is tonight, in public, pretending not to hate Catholics.”
Trump’s appearance was much like his debate performance: He started off well, but seemed to run out of energy and momentum and get more and more hard-edged the longer he went on.
He did make several good cracks.
He said the former secretary of state had bumped into him backstage and said “pardon me.”
To be fair to Trump, it wasn’t exactly a Republican crowd. The gaggle of rich New Yorkers from business, politics and the media, in ballgowns and white tie and tails could hardly be more different from blue-collar, white working-class crowds that have flocked to his outsider message.
By the time he reached his last jokes, Trump had clearly lost the room.
“According to her sworn testimony, Hillary has forgotten more things than most of us will ever, ever know — that I can tell you,” Trump said.
“We’re having some fun here tonight,” he deadpanned with all the enthusiasm as someone experiencing root canal surgery.
Clinton cut less close to the bone than Trump, but her speech also seemed to lack the generosity the evening requires.
At least the former secretary of state did not take herself quite as seriously as Trump.
“This is such a special event that I took a break from my rigorous nap schedule to be here,” she said, referring to Trump’s claim she lacks stamina.
Poking fun at the top-dollar fees that she racked up for corporate speeches, Clinton said: “It’s a treat for all of you, too, because I charge a lot for speeches like this.”
Clinton is not a natural speechmaker — and her jokes sometimes came across as nakedly political.
Her best joke poked fun at Trump’s attitude towards women — though given recent accusations against the GOP nominee might not have been in the best of taste.
“People look at the Statue of Liberty and they see a proud symbol of our history as a nation of immigrants. A beacon of hope for people around the world.”
“Donald sees the Statue of Liberty and sees a 4. Maybe a 5 if she loses the torch and tablet and changes her hair,” Clinton added.
Too soon?
In the end, the off-color evening will have little impact on the presidential race. It’s probably too late after all, and no one is likely to be waiting to decide on their vote based on a tony dinner in Manhattan.
Like the election itself, it left a bad taste.
“2016 is now ruining everything in its wake,” former top Mitt Romney aide Kevin Madden said on CNN Tonight with Don Lemon.
“We have the Al Smith dinner that is supposed to be about collegiality and supposed to be about charity and they left a chill in the room.”
Here’s a look at the most memorable lines from the dinner:
Donald Trump
1. “Some people start out with a self-deprecating joke. Some people think this would be tough for me but the truth is I’m a modest person … Some people tell me modesty is my best quality.”
2. “You know Cardinal Dolan and I have some things in common, such as we both run impressive properties on Fifth Avenue. Of course, his is much more impressive than mine. That’s because I built mine with my own beautifully formed hands.”
3. “It’s great to be here with 1,000 wonderful people. Or, as I call it, a small, intimate dinner with some friends. Or, as Hillary calls it, her largest crowd of the season.”
4. “This is corny stuff.”
5. “And even tonight, with all of the heated back and forth between my opponent and me at the debate last night, we have proven that we can actually be civil to each other. In fact, just before taking the dais, Hillary accidentally bumped into me and she very simply said, ‘Pardon me.’ And I very quietly replied, let me talk to you about that after I get into office.”
6. “One of the things I noticed tonight — and I’ve known Hillary a long time — that this is the first time ever, ever, that Hillary is sitting down and speaking to major corporate leaders and not getting paid for it.”
7. “You know, last night, I called Hillary a nasty woman. But this stuff is all relative. After listening to Hillary rattle on and on and on, I don’t think so badly of Rosie O’Donnell anymore. In fact, I’m actually starting to like Rosie a lot.”
8. “You know the President told me to stop whining. But I really have to say the media is even more biased than ever before. You want the proof? Michelle Obama gives a speech. And everyone loves it, it’s fantastic. They think she’s absolutely great. My wife, Melania, gives the exact same speech and people get on her case. And I don’t get it. I don’t know why. And it wasn’t her fault … Oh, I’m in trouble when I go home tonight. She didn’t know about that one.”
9. “I’d like to address an important religious matter — the issue of going to confession. Or as Hillary calls it, the Fourth of July weekend with FBI Director (James) Comey.”
10. “I wasn’t really sure if Hillary was going to be here tonight because, I guess, you didn’t send her invitation by email. Or maybe you did, and she just found out about it through the wonder of WikiLeaks. We’ve learned so much from WikiLeaks. For example, Hillary believes that it is vital to deceive the people by having one public policy and a totally different policy in private.”
When the audience booed at that line, Trump replied, “That’s OK, I don’t know who they’re angry at, Hillary, you or I. For example, here she is tonight, in public, pretending not to hate Catholics.”
Hillary Clinton
1. “This is such a special event that I took a break from my rigorous nap schedule to be here.”
2. “It’s a treat for all of you, too, because I charge a lot for speeches like this.”
3. “I’ve got to say, there are a lot of friendly faces in this room, people I’ve been privileged to know and to work with — I just want to put you all in a basket of adorables.”
4. “And Donald, after listening to your speech, I will also enjoy listening to Mike Pence deny that you ever gave it.”
5. “People look at the Statue of Liberty and they see a proud symbol of our history as a nation of immigrants. A beacon of hope for people around the world. Donald sees the Statue of Liberty and sees a 4. Maybe a 5 if she loses the torch and tablet and changes her hair.”
6. “But I understand that I’m not known for my sense of humor. That’s why it did take a village to write these jokes. People say I’m boring compared to Donald. But I’m not boring at all. In fact, I’m the life of every party I attend — and I’ve been to three.”
7. “Now, you notice there is no teleprompter tonight, which is probably smart because maybe you saw Donald dismantle his prompter the other day. And I get that. They’re hard to keep up with. And I’m sure it’s harder when you’re translating from the original Russian.”
8. “Many people don’t know this, but Rudy (Giuliani) actually got his start as a prosecutor going after wealthy New Yorkers who avoided paying taxes. But as the saying goes, if you can’t beat ’em, go on Fox News and call ’em a genius.”
9. “There is nothing like sharing a stage with Donald Trump. Donald wanted me drug tested before last night’s debate. And look, I am so flattered that Donald thought I used some sort of performance enhancer. Now, actually I did. It’s called preparation.”
10. “And whoever wins this election, the outcome will be historic. We’ll either have the first female president or the first president who started a Twitter war with Cher. And if Donald does win, it’ll be awkward at the annual President’s Day photo when all the former presidents gather at the White House. And not just with Bill. How is Barack going to get past the Muslim ban?”
